Both my websites are over in Wordpress so it made sense to move this one there too.   You can find all my previous post and any new ones at:

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I had so many clever ideas about what I might blog about today, but my mind body and soul are totally occupied with food.   I am detoxing - day 4 - and I could just about eat anything that isn't of fruit or vegetable origin. 

@mumto2angels tweeted about Tim Tams this morning and now I am obsessed.  I am not just talking about a fleeting thought, I'm talking full blown fantasies involving Tim Tams.  The Tim Tam genie features strongly - he is standing behind me lovingly dropping a Tim Tam into my mouth whenever it is empty.  Beautiful, cold dark chocolate Tim Tams ... oh I'm sorry you're still here.  Damn, for a minute I thought that was real!

I am hungry every half an hour.  I am drinking green tea until I slosh and I am eating vegetables and fruit until I sprout.   My mind cannot focus on anything but eating.  It is amazing how much of what we do is based around eating and enjoying food and drink.    Whilst my intake of fruit and vegetables is unlimited, that's not what I crave.   I want Tim Tams, I want dark chocolate, I want bread, I want milk!!!!!!!!

I want to eat something that has a stodgy substance to it.  I have just made some Chickpea Flour Bread called Socca.  I put some olives and rosemary in it.   Did anyone hear what I just said?  CHICKPEA BREAD!!   WTF!   I won't go into a rant because I haven't tasted it yet, and who knows, maybe, just maybe, it could taste a little like a dark chocolate Tim Tam.  No?  Kidding myself?   Thought so.

I know I will ultimately feel better and hopefully get out of some very bad food habits by the time this is over, but geez it's hard.  If anyone has an idea on things I can do to stop me thinking about food I'd be much appreciative.   Also, please refrain from mentioning any yummy foods in your blogs or in any dealings with me.  I only have 10 days to go.

Must go check on the Genie and my dark chocolate Tim Tams, oh no that's right it's Chickpea Bread I'm cooking.    Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... that's the sound of me fading away to a block of flats!

It’s time to get serious with my health and lifestyle. I need to make some changes and I need to do it right now. Why do I need to make some serious health and lifestyle changes? I’m a 47 year old mother of 2 teenage boys, very small boned, carrying almost 15 kilos of excess weight around my torso, have an underactive thyroid and a family history of Lupus and other autoimmune diseases. I have not regularly exercised since my teens, although over the years I’ve joined about 10 different gyms, gone crazy for about 3 weeks then stopped. I watch people who exercise in group sessions at local parks and wish I could do that too, but then I go home and eat some chocolate!

Did I mention that I’m also a serious chocoholic and can’t go a day without chocolate? I’d like to think I’m a reasonably healthy eater because I’m careful not to eat processed foods, I don’t drink very often, I mainly eat dark chocolate and I stay away from preservatives, artificial colours and flavours. However, I eat large portions, I eat chocolate often, I eat when I’m bored, I eat chocolate often, I don’t eat enough vegetables and did I mention that I eat chocolate often? I think you’ve got the picture now. Basically I kid myself I’m quite healthy because I do some of the right things, but really I’m a long way behind where I should be.

I have seen some recent photos that have really made me feel disgusted with myself. My belief on weight loss is this – not everyone is thin and not everyone looks good thin. In fact most people look better with some weight, including me. I have always been very tiny, so seeing myself looking weighty is quite a shock to me. Others would say I already look small. As they say, beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. To me I look awful.   I certainly wouldn't "do" me!   People may say I'm being harde on myself but read on ... it's not only about looks.
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Today I had a couple of conversations that involved talking about life's simple pleasures.  I thought I'd make a list of some of my favourite things.   I'm actually humming the song from The Sound of Music as I type ...
  • Seeing the people I love, laughing and smiling
  • Kisses & cuddles from my boys (Mike, the teenagers and Sammy the dog - except not kisses from Sammy - that wouldn't be right - that would be rather gross and not deserving of this list)
  • Friday nights - the thought of two whole days where I don't have a morning routine
  • A hot cup of tea with a naughty Scotch Finger biscuit for dunking
  • Getting the first load of firewood for winter and knowing I can light the fire that night (it's nearly time)
  • Going to bed when it is raining - we have a tin roof outside our bedroom window
  • The smell of Jasmine
  • Picking fresh herbs from the garden
  • Twitter of course - couldn't put it at the top because I don't want to look like an addict.  (I'm not an addict you know - really I'm not)
  • Reading blogs - this is a relatively new favourite, but I'm hooked.
  • Curling up in front of the fire with a book (or even the laptop and Twitter - but I'm not an addict)
  • Mike & I taking our dog for a walk
  • Walking really early in the morning as the sun rises
  • Working from home when it is raining and staying in my pyjamas all day
  • Hearing a favourite song from years ago that instantly makes me feel good
  • The smell of puppies (they smell like sausages)
  • The smell of babies (they smell like babies)
  • Dark chocolate Tim Tams
  • Full Moons
  • Tulips (and Tiny Tim singing Tiptoe through the Tulips - yes I'm a teensy bit strange - but that song reminds me of when I was 2)
  • The smell of washing as you get it off the line
  • An afternoon nanna nap with Mike and when we wake up it is dark (I love that)
They are some of the simple things in my life that make me feel good inside ... what makes you feel good?
I'm a relative newby to the twitterverse.  The majority of people I tweet with have been tweeting for quite some time.  I did try over a year ago to use Twitter but could not for the life of me see what use it was.  For goodness sake, who really cares whether I am working hard, going out or cooking spag bol for dinner?  No one I'm guessing, because no one Tweeted with me during that 1 month period.  I felt like a social outcast.  I felt like I was having 140 character conversations with myself.  I felt like I was one of those kids in the playground that no one wanted to be friends with.   There was a lot of chatter going on around me, but none with me.   Needless to say I snuck away, unnoticed by anyone in the twitterverse, to Facebook where I had real friends.

Fast Forward 1 year.  I met Mel Kettle (@melkettle) at a meeting where she was giving a brief of the presentation she was going to give on Social Networking.  Mel is a big Twitter fan.  After listening to her I thought I might go home and add her as a friend on Twitter and see what happens.  

The rest is history ... I've been twittering regularly for about a month now and my follower list has gone from 20 to 334.   The missing link from my prior experience was the word "connect".  Twitter is all about connecting.  Instant connection.  140 character snippets of you.  I finally got it.  Now I love it and continually preach about it to anyone who will listen.   Someone, I think @problogger, said "Twitter is about now and Facebook is about the past" - I think he's right.
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Me.  I'm almost 47 and still think I'm 30.  I'm scared of getting old in the mind and will do anything to stay young at heart.  Not so pedantic about trying to look 30 - still think there is a fine line between looking good and mutton dressed as lamb.  I don' t ever want to be the latter.  

I like to think of myself as a loving, kind, creative, slightly wacky, left of centre type person who doesn't get too hung up on unimportant stuff.  I've always looked for the best in others, even when noone else can find it.  My passions are writing, laughing, learning new things and helping people feel good about themselves.  And I also love Radio!  Who would have thought that one?

Lately though, I feel like I've lost my MOJO?  Definition of Mojo - The word originally meant a charm or a spell. But now its more common meaning is sex appeal or a special talent.  Based on both the old and new definitions - I've lost them all.  
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When I thought about this blog I thought I'd sit here and the words would just spill out onto the page.  I was wrong.  I really don't know where to start.  

Do I want this blog to be a celebration of friendship & women? 
Do I want to specifically name the Awesome Women in my life? 
Do I want to bang on about how great women are because they are mums, they work, they run businesses, they are compassionate?

The answer is I don't know.  

Today I am heading off to my monthly Awesome Women's Meeting, or AWM, as we call it.   We have been holding these meetings for about 12 months now and they are the highlight of my month.   I love my fellow awesome women - they are smart, witty, fun, self deprecating, beautiful (my are they beautiful - both inside and out) and real.

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It's been a crazy few days with hospitals, blood, surgery, toes, headaches, teenagers, dogs, fleas ... so, rather than bore you with a wordy piece detailing all these events, I will summarise in succinct bullet points and label Good, Bad or Ugly

  • Ugly - broken & split toe spurting blood - toe belonging to my other half
  • Bad - not going to hospital straight away - now risk of bone infection
  • Good - Doctors & Nurses at St Andrew's War Memorial Hospital for putting up with a man who has no time for being sick or bedridden - amazing care and service.
  • Ugly - me - not showering, doing hair or cleaning teeth for 24 hours and only having 3 hours sleep - not only did I look ugly but I was ugly to the core - not a good look!
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My life hasn't exactly been "mainstream".  Right from the day I was born, mainstream wasn't really going to be my thing, but that's a whole other story to be told some other time.

My life has been many things, both good and bad,  and in all those many things there is really only one true regret that I have.

I regret that I wished time away when  my boys were little.   Now that they are teenagers I miss those little boys like crazy.   Sure they were noisy, whiny, messy, feral - but on the flipside they were beautiful, loving, cute as buttons, sweet and just so innocent.  

I read many blogs of mums with young children and I find myself wishing to be back there.  Whilst at the same time I can sense those mums are wishing they might be in the same place I am.  Self sufficient children who leave me plenty of time to get on with my own life.

This is how I see it.
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Quick update on the procrastination saga ... on advice from Cate Bolt (you can visit her blog at I am no longer calling it Procrastination.  In fact there is no such thing as procrastination - she is dead to me.  I am also banishing that word from my dictionary.   I wonder if I can contact Macquarie and ask them to remove it from theirs?  That way none of us will have to worry about it anymore!

Anyway, back to Cate's advice.   She said I should stop planning my day and just do the stuff I want to do when I want to do it.   At first that sounded impossible, even wrong.  Then I daydreamed about it and it kinda sounded naughty ...  like I could be doing things I shouldn't be doing.   Something like having a nanna nap when I had a client report due or lying in the sun reading when I should be at a meeting. 
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The longer I am a parent and the more I watch what is happening to our world in terms of violence, crime and desperation, the more I believe, as parents, we have lost the art of relying on our own instincts when it comes to bringing up our children.

By this I mean, remembering how we were brought up, relying on our own values and having an understanding of what it is we really want for our children - not what the world "expects" us to want for our children.   I'm not saying that a change in parenting can fix all the problems in the world, and I also know there are many socio-economic factors that come into play that can't be fixed easily.   However as a fairly mainstream parent, I feel that we have lost the ability to be ordinary, which is resulting in our children growing up with over inflated expectations of what the world should be offering them.

I believe most kids are too pampered and are not being taught to tough things out and I put my hand up as being totally guilty of doing this.  I am a divorced parent and have two teenage boys. I have see-sawed between disciplining and pampering my children for the last 10 years.  Why do I do this? Because I feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty? Because I receive so much information about being a perfect parent and when I fail I feel guilty and pamper my children in an attempt to alleviate this guilt. I also do it because my children aren’t with both parents all the time. I do it because I work long hours and can’t spend as much time with them as I think I should. I suffer from “mother guilt” which I believe should be extended to be called “parent guilt” because I'm sure many dad's feel the same.
Right ... here I am only one day since my monumental declaration that I would make Procrastination my friend.   Who was I kidding? 

You won't believe what has happened today ... I have just spent 3/4 of an hour procrastinating about writing this blog.  This was meant to be the fun thing I did before I start work.  Now that I've made it something I "have" to do I have now started procrastinating over it.   So not only am I procrastinating over starting work, but I'm procrastinating over the fun thing that was going to make procrastinating ok.   Give me a break ... geez!

Help!!!!!!!   Are there any Procrastination Exorcists out there?  I am convinced she has taken over my soul and I need to bring in the big guns to free myself.

Ok - I must start work now ... but first I need a coffee and I should check Twitter and then I should come back and check this blog for comments and then back to Twitter, oh and let's not forget a quick look on Facebook ..............
Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill. Christopher Parker

I don't understand why Procrastination keeps coming around to my place.  I don't like her and I don't want to continue this friendship.  I've told her over and over that she is not to be a part of my life but she just isn't listening to me!!

If only it was that easy to get rid of her. 

I have been battling this problem of procrastination for a good part of my adult life.  When she arrives, I invite her in and entertain her for as long as she wants.  Sometimes she stays here all day long!  At the end of the day I feel so dirty that I spent so much time with someone I dislike so much. 

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Two nights ago were were having a wonderful afternoon/night drinks/dinner with fabulous friends. For this blog I am going to call my friends Lovely 1 and Lovely 2 (to protect their privacy). Lovely 1 is a young mum who works full time and has twin 4 year old boys and she started telling us how overwhelmed she feels by Facebook.

She said that every few months she has to shut down her Facebook account because the obligations it puts on her is overwhelming. I have to admit that I didn't really understand. Neither did Lovely 2. Lovely 1 told us she feels guilty that she is a bad friend if she doesn't reply to everyone that makes a comment on her Facebook feed and also if she doesn't visit her friends Facebook pages and comment on their photos/status updates etc. I have to admit that Lovely 2 and I looked at each other a bit confused because we don't feel this same pressure. 
I have been struggling with time for ages now. Never having enough of it. Wishing there were more than 24 hours in a day, Wishing it was 20 years ago when time seemed endless.

I was speaking to a very close and wise woman the other day and we were both lamenting over this lack of time. What we realised was that time is still the same. Always has been and always will be 24 hours in every single day. Well ... who would have thought?