tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29868018256949968952024-03-14T04:06:10.025+10:00Life ... Love ... stuff and nonsense!As a woman, partner, mum of teenagers, business owner, dog owner and much more ... I hope I can share some of my insights with you.Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-49218774046295340712010-04-30T23:19:00.000+10:002010-04-30T23:19:10.131+10:00This Bog has a new home ------>>Both my websites are over in Wordpress so it made sense to move this one there too. You can find all my previous post and any new ones at:<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><a href="http://livinglifeasme.wordpress.com/my-posts/">http://livinglifeasme.wordpress.com/my-posts/</a></span></strong><br />
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</script> </div>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-41504084363119192882010-04-28T13:48:00.002+10:002010-04-28T13:52:41.153+10:00Dark Chocolate Tim TamsI had so many clever ideas about what I might blog about today, but my mind body and soul are totally occupied with food. I am detoxing - day 4 - and I could just about eat anything that isn't of fruit or vegetable origin. <br />
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@mumto2angels tweeted about Tim Tams this morning and now I am obsessed. I am not just talking about a fleeting thought, I'm talking full blown fantasies involving Tim Tams. The Tim Tam genie features strongly - he is standing behind me lovingly dropping a Tim Tam into my mouth whenever it is empty. Beautiful, cold dark chocolate Tim Tams ... oh I'm sorry you're still here. Damn, for a minute I thought that was real!<br />
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I am hungry every half an hour. I am drinking green tea until I slosh and I am eating vegetables and fruit until I sprout. My mind cannot focus on anything but eating. It is amazing how much of what we do is based around eating and enjoying food and drink. Whilst my intake of fruit and vegetables is unlimited, that's not what I crave. I want Tim Tams, I want dark chocolate, I want bread, I want milk!!!!!!!!<br />
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I want to eat something that has a stodgy substance to it. I have just made some Chickpea Flour Bread called Socca. I put some olives and rosemary in it. Did anyone hear what I just said? CHICKPEA BREAD!! WTF! I won't go into a rant because I haven't tasted it yet, and who knows, maybe, just maybe, it could taste a little like a dark chocolate Tim Tam. No? Kidding myself? Thought so.<br />
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I know I will ultimately feel better and hopefully get out of some very bad food habits by the time this is over, but geez it's hard. If anyone has an idea on things I can do to stop me thinking about food I'd be much appreciative. Also, please refrain from mentioning any yummy foods in your blogs or in any dealings with me. I only have 10 days to go.<br />
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Must go check on the Genie and my dark chocolate Tim Tams, oh no that's right it's Chickpea Bread I'm cooking. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... that's the sound of me fading away to a block of flats!<br />
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</script>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-45872719180577482332010-04-25T12:02:00.001+10:002010-04-25T12:04:49.714+10:00What happens when chocolate, bending over & laziness collide.It’s time to get serious with my health and lifestyle. I need to make some changes and I need to do it right now. Why do I need to make some serious health and lifestyle changes? I’m a 47 year old mother of 2 teenage boys, very small boned, carrying almost 15 kilos of excess weight around my torso, have an underactive thyroid and a family history of Lupus and other autoimmune diseases. I have not regularly exercised since my teens, although over the years I’ve joined about 10 different gyms, gone crazy for about 3 weeks then stopped. I watch people who exercise in group sessions at local parks and wish I could do that too, but then I go home and eat some chocolate! <br />
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Did I mention that I’m also a serious chocoholic and can’t go a day without chocolate? I’d like to think I’m a reasonably healthy eater because I’m careful not to eat processed foods, I don’t drink very often, I mainly eat dark chocolate and I stay away from preservatives, artificial colours and flavours. However, I eat large portions, I eat chocolate often, I eat when I’m bored, I eat chocolate often, I don’t eat enough vegetables and did I mention that I eat chocolate often? I think you’ve got the picture now. Basically I kid myself I’m quite healthy because I do some of the right things, but really I’m a long way behind where I should be. <br />
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I have seen some recent photos that have really made me feel disgusted with myself. My belief on weight loss is this – not everyone is thin and not everyone looks good thin. In fact most people look better with some weight, including me. I have always been very tiny, so seeing myself looking weighty is quite a shock to me. Others would say I already look small. As they say, beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. To me I look awful. I certainly wouldn't "do" me! People may say I'm being harde on myself but read on ... it's not only about looks.<br />
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The other factor that is extremely important to me is how I feel health wise. If I was fit, healthy and ate well and was the current size I am I would be a happy girl because that is how I am meant to be. But because I am unfit, unwell and feeling older than my 47 years - I am very uncomfortable with this look.<br />
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I admit, most of us like to look gorgeous and sexy and be appealing to both sexes – yes I said both sexes – because let’s face it girls, we love other girls to think we look great too! However I don’t believe that we have to look like Jennifer Aniston or whoever you fancy to feel sexy and gorgeous. We all have curves, lumpy bits and if we’ve had kids – well our best assets have probably dropped a few points! This doesn’t mean we can no longer look gorgeous and sexy – we can, no matter what our size. The key is how we feel on the inside because it really does radiate out. <br />
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Even when I’m at a healthier weight, I still have a tummy – I always have and I always will. I’m ok with that because I’m not prepared to do the exercise to get rid of it. At the moment I am not ok with it – I bent over yesterday to pick something up and my stomach got in my way. I was so embarrassed and upset with myself. Not only does it look bad, it restricts my movements and it is the worst weight I can carry in terms of heart disease. <br />
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I’m also not very good at pain, hence the lack of serious exercise, and I’m a bit of a procrastinator, okay a lot of a procrastinator (I try to kid myself here too!). But I can’t do that anymore – the proof of this is documented here in previous blogs!! If I’m not made accountable, I will almost always quit if it becomes too time consuming, well that’s the excuse I use. I think most of us have used that one. “I’d love to exercise but I just don’t have enough time” we say with what we believe is absolute sincerity.<br />
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This brings me to where I am today. I’ve been fluffing around with some diets, healthy eating options etc for about 2 months now. Pretending I’m serious, when in fact it is a smokescreen to appear that I’m doing something. All I have been doing is putting off the inevitable. There are 3 things, that is it, only 3 things I need to do:<br />
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1. Eat less<br />
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2. Eat healthier options<br />
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3. Exercise<br />
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I need to do this now because I don’t want to reach 50 and have serious health problems that I could have avoided. The ridiculous thing is I know all this stuff and I know what I need to do but I am so bad at starting these things. I am excellent at making excuses and really excellent at eating chocolate.<br />
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Now that I’ve started blogging and putting myself “out there” I figured if I put this “out there” it will give me some momentum and make me a bit more accountable. <br />
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I am not going on a fad diet as such, but I am following a program where I gently detox for 2 weeks cutting out Dairy, starchy carbs (bread, white pasta, cakes etc), coffee and ... it’s so hard for me to write this ... CHOCOLATE! During this period I am also training my body to accept smaller portions. I also have to start doing at least 30 minutes of gentle exercise per day. <br />
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Great – as I am typing this I am thinking how am I going to do this? I just gave myself an uppercut because I need to start with the right attitude. I can do this. Many people I know are battling terminal cancer and living with debilitating diseases and I’m whinging about doing this. Get over yourself Annie!!!!!!<br />
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The universe has been extremely kind to me and it’s time I repaid it by looking after myself. I can do this and I am going to use my blog to keep me accountable. Does blogging help you stay accountable?<br />
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PS If you are a Weight Loss Company Tweep, please don’t follow me because I don’t want to buy your quick fix pill, protein supplement, exercise contraption or cellulite wraps. Thank you.<br />
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</script>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-25808119523078231892010-04-23T20:47:00.003+10:002010-04-24T10:46:09.325+10:00These are a few of my favourite things ...Today I had a couple of conversations that involved talking about life's simple pleasures. I thought I'd make a list of some of my favourite things. I'm actually humming the song from The Sound of Music as I type ...<br />
<ul><li>Seeing the people I love, laughing and smiling</li>
<li>Kisses & cuddles from my boys (Mike, the teenagers and Sammy the dog - except not kisses from Sammy - that wouldn't be right - that would be rather gross and not deserving of this list)</li>
<li>Friday nights - the thought of two whole days where I don't have a morning routine</li>
<li>A hot cup of tea with a naughty Scotch Finger biscuit for dunking</li>
<li>Getting the first load of firewood for winter and knowing I can light the fire that night (it's nearly time)</li>
<li>Going to bed when it is raining - we have a tin roof outside our bedroom window</li>
<li>The smell of Jasmine</li>
<li>Picking fresh herbs from the garden </li>
<li>Twitter of course - couldn't put it at the top because I don't want to look like an addict. (I'm not an addict you know - really I'm not)</li>
<li>Reading blogs - this is a relatively new favourite, but I'm hooked.</li>
<li>Curling up in front of the fire with a book (or even the laptop and Twitter - but I'm not an addict)</li>
<li>Mike & I taking our dog for a walk</li>
<li>Walking really early in the morning as the sun rises</li>
<li>Working from home when it is raining and staying in my pyjamas all day</li>
<li>Hearing a favourite song from years ago that instantly makes me feel good</li>
<li>The smell of puppies (they smell like sausages)</li>
<li>The smell of babies (they smell like babies)</li>
<li>Dark chocolate Tim Tams</li>
<li>Full Moons</li>
<li>Tulips (and Tiny Tim singing Tiptoe through the Tulips - yes I'm a teensy bit strange - but that song reminds me of when I was 2)</li>
<li>The smell of washing as you get it off the line</li>
<li>An afternoon nanna nap with Mike and when we wake up it is dark (I love that)</li>
</ul>They are some of the simple things in my life that make me feel good inside ... what makes you feel good?<br />
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</script>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-14504735573668609992010-04-21T09:23:00.003+10:002010-04-21T09:35:08.123+10:00Twitter emotions. Am I paranoid? Or just normal?I'm a relative newby to the twitterverse. The majority of people I tweet with have been tweeting for quite some time. I did try over a year ago to use Twitter but could not for the life of me see what use it was. For goodness sake, who really cares whether I am working hard, going out or cooking spag bol for dinner? No one I'm guessing, because no one Tweeted with me during that 1 month period. I felt like a social outcast. I felt like I was having 140 character conversations with myself. I felt like I was one of those kids in the playground that no one wanted to be friends with. There was a lot of chatter going on around me, but none with me. Needless to say I snuck away, unnoticed by anyone in the twitterverse, to Facebook where I had real friends.<br />
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Fast Forward 1 year. I met <a href="http://www.melkettle.com.au/">Mel Kettle</a> (@melkettle) at a meeting where she was giving a brief of the presentation she was going to give on Social Networking. Mel is a big Twitter fan. After listening to her I thought I might go home and add her as a friend on Twitter and see what happens. <br />
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The rest is history ... I've been twittering regularly for about a month now and my follower list has gone from 20 to 334. The missing link from my prior experience was the word "connect". Twitter is all about connecting. Instant connection. 140 character snippets of you. I finally got it. Now I love it and continually preach about it to anyone who will listen. Someone, I think @problogger, said "Twitter is about now and Facebook is about the past" - I think he's right.<br />
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However, yes there is a however. As much as I love Twitter, it has brought about all types of strange feelings which I haven't felt since school days. I am quite a confident person, I have wonderful friendships and rarely in my real life do I feel these feelings any more. <br />
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Perhaps it's just me? Perhaps it's just a girl thing? Let me explain.<br />
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<ul><li>I follow some really interesting and funny people who share common interests I have. They also appear to have firm Twitter (and maybe real life) friendships with fellow Twitterers. They are having a funny conversation - do I join in? Is it rude? If I do, will they DM each other and say "who does she think she is?" So being me, I join in, sometimes I am included and other times there is deadly Twitter silence. For the next 1/2 hour I beat myself up because I think I was too forward and these nice people think I'm a stalker or some kind of hangeronerer! Remember at school when all the cool girls hung out together and if you tried to sit with them you weren't really included in the conversation. No? Maybe that only happened to me. Oh dear - paranoid much!</li>
<li>Someone I like Tweeting with, gasp, horror, "unfollows" me. OMG what have I done wrong? I feel hurt. I want to write and say "Why? What did I do? Don't you like me anymore?" but I can't because I can't DM them anymore. I don't want to say this in the public Twittersphere because then everyone will think I'm a loser and just a weeny bit needy! And ... paranoid much!</li>
<li>This one is a bit freaky but I'm going to put it out there - I am 47, but like I said in my Mojo post, I feel 30. Most of my friends are 10 - 20 years younger than me - this is where I fit in better. My online world appears to mirror my real world in that respect. I enjoy Tweeting with the "yummy mummys" who are 10 - 20 years younger than I. Then I worry; won't they think I'm odd? Are they thinking - I wish this middle aged woman would leave us alone? Who does she think she is? We don't even find her funny! Ok ... creepy and paranoid much!</li>
<li>And lastly, I really like tweeting with some people, but they hardly follow anyone, including me. I wonder how I can get them to follow me. I'd like to ask "why don't you want to follow me?" but again, I can't DM them and I don't want to appear "needy" by putting it out in the public arena. So I tweet regularly with them. Sometimes they tweet back, other times that deadly Twitter silence. Then I worry I they might think me a stalker. Yes, as feared, paranoid much!</li>
</ul>This blog is scaring me ... I think I'm needy, paranoid and just plain creepy!<br />
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Yep, reading back over that, I'm not sure I want to post this blog. However, I will (and you know I will spend the next hour freaking out about it, wondering how many followers I will lose on Twitter etc). I will also be checking it every 5 minutes to see if anyone reads it or leaves comments. OMG it's going to be a paranoid day - thank goodness I'm in meetings all afternoon!<br />
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Seriously though - these thoughts are fleeting, nevertheless they are there and I find it quite fascinating that Twitter of all things has stirred them up again. Does anyone else ever feel this way ... or is it just me? Someone please tell me how you feel .... please! (yep paranoid!)<br />
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</script>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-73305054300290748662010-04-18T21:22:00.002+10:002010-04-19T06:41:55.438+10:00Lost my MOJO - have you seen it lying around?Me. I'm almost 47 and still think I'm 30. I'm scared of getting old in the mind and will do anything to stay young at heart. Not so pedantic about trying to look 30 - still think there is a fine line between looking good and mutton dressed as lamb. I don' t ever want to be the latter. <br />
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I like to think of myself as a loving, kind, creative, slightly wacky, left of centre type person who doesn't get too hung up on unimportant stuff. I've always looked for the best in others, even when noone else can find it. My passions are writing, laughing, learning new things and helping people feel good about themselves. And I also love Radio! Who would have thought that one?<br />
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Lately though, I feel like I've lost my MOJO? Definition of Mojo - The word originally meant a charm or a spell. But now its more common meaning is sex appeal or a special talent. Based on both the old and new definitions - I've lost them all. <br />
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<ul><li><span style="color: #38761d;"><strong>Charm</strong></span> - pffft - nothing charming about me right now. Cranky, tired, 10 kg overweight and the soup I cooked last night has given me really bad gas! See no charm!</li>
<li><strong><span style="color: #38761d;">Spell</span></strong> - well I can spell, but in terms of casting a spell or having some magic attached to me right now - the score would be nil.</li>
<li><span style="color: #38761d;"><strong>Sex appeal</strong></span> - oh hilarious - I'm guessing the details above, under the bullet point "Charm", pretty much rule out any sex appeal. In addition, dealing with PMT for 2 weeks every month is not sexy! I'm thinking Sex Unappeal should be my tag.</li>
<li><span style="color: #38761d;"><strong>Special talent</strong></span> - hmm I think the special talent that a Mojo might allude to is tied up with the bullet point above - which clearly I'm lacking in, so looks like it's a strike out for this one too!</li>
</ul>Based on the evidence above I am definitely 100% lacking in a MOJO. I'm not sure where I left it or when it actually disappeared, but it's gone and I want it back!!!<br />
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A quick evaluation of what isn't working in my life and it turns out that my "day job" could be responsible for stealing my MOJO. I don't love what I do, in fact I don't even like it. I tell Insurance Brokers how to manage their Compliance arrangements, I conduct audits on their staff and I read legislation until my eyes bleed. <br />
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On Friday I made a monumental decision! In order to reclaim the missing MOJO I need to lose the day job. Its not quite so easy to leave - I own the business. Merely details.<br />
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The more difficult issue I have is, I honestly don't know what to do next? Do I sell my business and wait for my MOJO to come back and then decide? Do I sell my business when I know what I want to do? Maybe the business is what is clogging me up and I won't be able to work out what I want to do until I sell it? Oh the quandry.<br />
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I feel excited, scared and confused - at 47 I feel like I'm about to embark on a new journey and I just don't know what that journey could be. Maybe it's a mid life crisis? Perhaps I should get a Harley and a tattoo? <br />
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As I get older it becomes crystal clear that life has a finite end. I don't want my end to come and I didn't realise my full potential. I know I have greater things to achieve - I just need to find them.<br />
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Any ideas??<br />
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</script>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-32346419250085374672010-04-16T08:17:00.003+10:002010-04-16T08:40:51.314+10:00Awesome WomenWhen I thought about this blog I thought I'd sit here and the words would just spill out onto the page. I was wrong. I really don't know where to start. <br />
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Do I want this blog to be a celebration of friendship & women? <br />
Do I want to specifically name the Awesome Women in my life? <br />
Do I want to bang on about how great women are because they are mums, they work, they run businesses, they are compassionate?<br />
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The answer is I don't know. <br />
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Today I am heading off to my monthly Awesome Women's Meeting, or AWM, as we call it. We have been holding these meetings for about 12 months now and they are the highlight of my month. I love my fellow awesome women - they are smart, witty, fun, self deprecating, beautiful (my are they beautiful - both inside and out) and real.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Now you might be wondering just how many women attend our AWM meetings? There are 3 of us. That's all. Three small business owners, three women who want to be successful but want to have balance in our lives, three women who want to make difference in the lives of the people we touch, three women who quite often doubt we are good enough and three women wo doubt our strength and our worth.<br />
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Our meetings are a place where we talk about the goals we kick, the challenges we face, the fears we have, the meltdowns we've endured and ... heaps of other girl stuff - hormones, shopping, hormones, husbands, hormones, kids, hormones and work! Did I mention we sometimes talk about hormones??<br />
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Now I know what I want this blog to be about. I want to explain the reason we started these meetings. We all felt slightly disconnected because we no longer "belonged" to a workplace. We had all left jobs where we were key team members. The comraderie, the friendship, the social activity that is usually associated with a work environment was now missing. After chatting daily on MSN - our way of having work mates to talk to during the day - we decided to meet up each month. Our meetings are reasonably informal, however we do set ourselves homework from each meeting. Our homework is usually something to do with achieving a goal or doing something we keep putting off. We made a vision board a couple of months ago - never done one before - it was a great thing to do!<br />
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This last month's homework was to write 101 goals - just to sit and write all the things we would like to do. Gotta say, I haven't done my homework and the meeting is in 1 1/2 hours - guess they are going to have to sit me in the naughty corner today! Oops - I can always blame it on the hormones!<br />
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I have many more Awesome Women in my life - I have some wonderfully beautiful friends who I love dearly and wouldn't be the person I am today without them in my life. To all of you - and you know who you are - I love you to bits!<br />
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In fact every woman who reads my blog is an Awesome Woman, every woman I communicate with on Twitter is an Awesome Woman, all of my business associates are Awesome Women. I am incredibly lucky to have so many Awesome Women in my life. To all of you, whether you read my blog or not - I appreciate your awesomeness and I am so glad I know you.<br />
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If you havent told your Awesome Women lately just how awesome they are - perhaps you should do it now?<br />
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</script> </li>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-56212716721265019772010-04-14T12:13:00.005+10:002010-04-21T13:41:53.761+10:00This past week - the Good, Bad and the Ugly!It's been a crazy few days with hospitals, blood, surgery, toes, headaches, teenagers, dogs, fleas ... so, rather than bore you with a wordy piece detailing all these events, I will summarise in succinct bullet points and label Good, Bad or Ugly<br />
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<ul><li><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Ugly</strong></span> - broken & split toe spurting blood - toe belonging to my other half </li>
<li><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Bad</strong></span> - not going to hospital straight away - now risk of bone infection</li>
<li><span style="color: purple;"><strong><span style="background-color: white;">Good</span></strong> </span>- Doctors & Nurses at St Andrew's War Memorial Hospital for putting up with a man who has no time for being sick or bedridden - amazing care and service.</li>
<li><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Ugly</strong></span> - me - not showering, doing hair or cleaning teeth for 24 hours and only having 3 hours sleep - not only did I look ugly but I was ugly to the core - not a good look! <a name='more'></a></li>
<li><strong><span style="background-color: white; color: blue;">Bad</span></strong> - the poor doggy who thought his Alpha Male had been murdered - blood all over verandah, and both of us gone for 24 hours.</li>
<li><span style="color: purple;"><strong>Good</strong></span> - the lovely lady who banged on my car to let me know that I left other half's shorts and shirt on back of car - shorts containing wallet - thank you, thank you, thank you. </li>
<li><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Ugly</strong></span> - hospital food - service great but food damn ugly! </li>
<li><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Bad</strong></span> - poor other half sharing room with snorer and SBD farter ... this could also go in ugly! </li>
<li><span style="color: purple;"><strong>Good</strong></span> - he's home again!</li>
<li><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Ugly</strong></span> - price of hospital parking - $80 over a 24 hour period - robbery!</li>
<li><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Bad</strong></span> - I'm so far behind on my work and can't get my act together</li>
<li><span style="color: purple;"><strong>Good</strong></span> - I'm back on Twitter and catching up on my fun stuff</li>
<li><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Ugly</strong></span> - I think Procrastination has come back to haunt me</li>
<li><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Bad</strong></span> - I don't want to do any real paid work - I just want to write and have fun</li>
<li><span style="color: purple;"><strong>Good</strong></span> - the headache I've had for the past 8 days has gone - thank you to the best Acupuncturist and Masseuse in Brisbane</li>
<li><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Ugly</strong></span> - the doggy vomitted around the place while we were away, plus he contracted fleas!</li>
<li><span style="color: blue;"><strong>Bad</strong></span> - there is still Easter Chocolate left in the fridge and I might just have to help myself to it!!</li>
<li><span style="color: purple;"><strong>Good</strong></span> - Stephanie the cleaning Goddess arrived while we were at the hospital</li>
<li><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Ugly</strong></span> - no matter how long I put it off - I do have to work because we do have a mortgage, kids to feed and bills to pay ... oh poo!</li>
</ul><br />
If you've had any good, bad or ugly things happen to you in this past week that you'd care to share - I'd love to hear from you. xx<script src="http://tweetmeme.com/i/scripts/button.js" type="text/javascript">
</script> </li>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-64180001181698005182010-04-10T11:59:00.002+10:002010-04-10T12:03:02.296+10:00My one regret ...My life hasn't exactly been "mainstream". Right from the day I was born, mainstream wasn't really going to be my thing, but that's a whole other story to be told some other time.<br />
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My life has been many things, both good and bad, and in all those many things there is really only one true regret that I have.<br />
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I regret that I wished time away when my boys were little. Now that they are teenagers I miss those little boys like crazy. Sure they were noisy, whiny, messy, feral - but on the flipside they were beautiful, loving, cute as buttons, sweet and just so innocent. <br />
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I read many blogs of mums with young children and I find myself wishing to be back there. Whilst at the same time I can sense those mums are wishing they might be in the same place I am. Self sufficient children who leave me plenty of time to get on with my own life.<br />
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This is how I see it.<br />
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<ul><li>When they are newborns - we can't wait until they are older and sleep through the night</li>
<li>When they are around 3 months we wish they were older so they can crawl and eat real food</li>
<li>When they start crawling we can't wait for them to walk</li>
<li>When they start walking we wish they were 3 months again so we can leave them in once place and they don't move</li>
<li>When they are 2 we can't wait until the are 4 or 5 and we can get them to see logic and reason</li>
<li>When they are between 6 and 11 we can't wait until they go to high school so we don't have to do so much homework with them and we don't have to drive them/accompany them everywhere</li>
<li>When they are finally teenagers we wish they were little again because they didn't challenge us and we were the smartest, prettiest, best people in the world - now we are best kept hidden from friends because we are so embarrassing.</li>
</ul>And the biggest wish of all - is when they are nearing late teens we wish we didn't wish all those times away and spent more time enjoying those little things we took for granted.<br />
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This conversation should illustrate the point I am making.<br />
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Mum: "Would you like me to read to you tonight?"<br />
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Son: Are you serious? I'm 13. When I really wanted you to read to me when I was younger you were always too busy. You've missed out - you should have spent more time doing it when I really wanted you to.<br />
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That was a conversation between my youngest son and I a few years ago. It cut really deep - the saddest part was he was speaking the truth. I was too busy working, trying to be all things to all people and not really focussing on being a mum to my little boys. <br />
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That is my biggest and only regret. The good thing is I do have a great relationship with my boys and I make sure I spend time getting to know who they really are. That conversation was a huge wake up call for me.<br />
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If you are a mum reading this and you have young children - go and do something with them now. They are really all that matters. They really are.<br />
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J & M I love you to the moon and back infinity times. xx<br />
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</script>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-86264955894370290802010-04-08T09:48:00.002+10:002010-04-08T09:50:42.571+10:00Procrastination is now dead to me. (Thank you Cate)Quick update on the procrastination saga ... on advice from Cate Bolt (you can visit her blog at <a href="http://catherinebolt.com/">http://catherinebolt.com/</a>) I am no longer calling it Procrastination. In fact there is no such thing as procrastination - she is dead to me. I am also banishing that word from my dictionary. I wonder if I can contact Macquarie and ask them to remove it from theirs? That way none of us will have to worry about it anymore!<br />
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Anyway, back to Cate's advice. She said I should stop planning my day and just do the stuff I want to do when I want to do it. At first that sounded impossible, even wrong. Then I daydreamed about it and it kinda sounded naughty ... like I could be doing things I shouldn't be doing. Something like having a nanna nap when I had a client report due or lying in the sun reading when I should be at a meeting. <br />
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I mulled over this advice all day long. Whilst mulling I decided that my workspace needed to be cleaned and I needed better systems to improve my work flow. I spent most of the day doing that. I did it because I wanted to do it - and as well it was a "need to do" job. It wasn't on my To Do list.<br />
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I also posted a blog on parenting. I wrote that post a couple of years ago and it has been sitting in my writing folder waiting to be shared. Whilst cleaning up my desk I found a copy of it in an old file and decided that I wanted to post it on my blog. So I did. It also wasn't on my To Do List.<br />
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I didnt do any client work whatsoever, sorry clients, I still love you, I just need a break from you sometimes. <br />
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Normally I would get to the end of the day and feel so bad about the fact I didn't do any "paid" work and that I had "wasted" the day. Yesterday I didn't feel that way. Thank's to Cate's advice, I did some things I wanted to do - both were not on the To Do list, but I still felt like I achieved something.<br />
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My desk is now in order and I know just what client work needs to be done - it was a pleasure to sit here this morning. <br />
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The blog I posted yesterday was something that meant a lot to me and I have received some really nice feedback about it. A friend said it made her feel better about herself. To do that for one person is a huge achievement, and to be honest makes me feel way better than doing some paid client work. <br />
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So, yesterday was a success for me and I didn't feel bad about not ticking a single thing off my To Do list. Thank you Cate - your wise words are on my wall to remind me that sometimes taking a sidetrack off the main road can bring us things we may have missed out on had we stayed on track.<br />
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I hope you all find some little side tracks that bring you joy today.Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-16509676320423497772010-04-07T15:14:00.002+10:002010-04-07T15:16:54.018+10:00An Ordinary ParentThe longer I am a parent and the more I watch what is happening to our world in terms of violence, crime and desperation, the more I believe, as parents, we have lost the art of relying on our own instincts when it comes to bringing up our children. <br />
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By this I mean, remembering how we were brought up, relying on our own values and having an understanding of what it is we really want for our children - not what the world "expects" us to want for our children. I'm not saying that a change in parenting can fix all the problems in the world, and I also know there are many socio-economic factors that come into play that can't be fixed easily. However as a fairly mainstream parent, I feel that we have lost the ability to be ordinary, which is resulting in our children growing up with over inflated expectations of what the world should be offering them. <br />
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I believe most kids are too pampered and are not being taught to tough things out and I put my hand up as being totally guilty of doing this. I am a divorced parent and have two teenage boys. I have see-sawed between disciplining and pampering my children for the last 10 years. Why do I do this? Because I feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty? Because I receive so much information about being a perfect parent and when I fail I feel guilty and pamper my children in an attempt to alleviate this guilt. I also do it because my children aren’t with both parents all the time. I do it because I work long hours and can’t spend as much time with them as I think I should. I suffer from “mother guilt” which I believe should be extended to be called “parent guilt” because I'm sure many dad's feel the same.<br />
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As parents, we are constantly looking for advice - affirmation we are doing the right thing. We are also looking for simple, effective ways to help us have kind, loving and obedient kids. We look for this in newspapers, magazines, parenting books and anywhere we can get a snippet of information that can guide us. I should know, I have a shelf in my bookcase dedicated to parenting books. I'm not knocking these as in times of desperation I have found solace in their pages.<br />
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I don’t live in an ideal situation, I have shared care with my ex husband for the past 10 years and we don’t have the same parenting values. Many experts will say this is less than ideal situation and as parents we should get our act together and put the kids first, but, hey listen to this newsflash, no one lives in an ideal situation. There are so many variants on what constitutes a family these days it is very difficult to rely on all these “experts” telling us just how we should be raising our children in their ideal world.<br />
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Here’s another newsflash!! I’ve smacked my boys, I’ve yelled at them, I’ve said nasty things to them in the heat of the moment, I’ve made them feel guilty, I’ve ranted and raved and carried on like a fish wife. I’ve read books on parenting in a desperate attempt to work out why my children are so bad, and then felt incredibly guilty about the emotional scars I’ve now thrust upon them as a result of my bad parenting skills. What happens next is I’ve tried to make myself feel better and lavished them with love and material things in a pathetic attempt to alleviate the guilt. I bet any parent, particularly a mum, reading this would be nodding their heads in agreement. So often we all get caught up in this vicious circle. <br />
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Don’t get me wrong, the people who write these books are well educated and their methods have been tried and proven. In an ideal world these methods probably work a treat. However in the real world, the average mum and dad work long hours, come home tired, the kids are tired from a long day at school and after school care, homework needs to be done, dinner needs to be cooked, washing, ironing, cleaning up and maybe, if they are lucky, mum and dad get to spend 5 minutes alone together at the end of the night. <br />
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During this period everyone’s patience is tested and arguments and defiance reign. Kids get yelled at, sometimes smacked, mums and dads can get testy with each other and at times things are said that noone means. This is real life.<br />
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I am an ordinary mum who is trying to do her best to bring up happy healthy children in a world that is becoming more complicated by the decade. Most of us were brought up with yelling and some smacking because most of our parents didn't have access to all the current material on parenting. My parents were far from perfect (oh you have no idea - that's another blog), as were many of my friends parents, but we have all turned into decent people who are trying to live our lives respecting others and trying to do the best we can. <br />
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We’ve all done the wrong thing at times, we’ve all hurt other people and we’ve all made bad decisions. We all have our own problems, some of us suffer depression, some of us need anger management, some of us are calm and unflappable and so on. I think we are losing sight of the fact that this is what being a human being is about. It’s about living our lives – it isn’t about being perfect. We are setting our kids up for a lifetime of disappointments by trying to make their childhood perfect.<br />
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I believe that if we weren’t made to feel so guilty about this need to be perfect, we could get on with the job of giving these precious kids of ours an extraordinary life by being plain old ordinary parents. <br />
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My ordinary wants for my children are that they stay healthy, be kind and respectful to others, find many moments of happiness, learn to deal with sadness, disappointment and pain and, most of all, know how to love and be loved. I don’t care if they don’t make the A Grade soccer team, or the debating team or become the dux of the school. I do care that they try their hardest, enjoy playing sport and choose a profession that suits them, be it a doctor or a taxi driver.<br />
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Let's focus more on being ordinary. I believe if more parents were made to feel good about being ordinary parents, rather than being pressured to be perfect, our kids would grow up with a more balanced perspective on life. <br />
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</script>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-1427003303064219922010-04-07T07:57:00.000+10:002010-04-07T07:57:43.331+10:00Procrastination - I'm off the wagon :(Right ... here I am only one day since my monumental declaration that I would make Procrastination my friend. Who was I kidding? <br />
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You won't believe what has happened today ... I have just spent 3/4 of an hour procrastinating about writing this blog. This was meant to be the fun thing I did before I start work. Now that I've made it something I "have" to do I have now started procrastinating over it. So not only am I procrastinating over starting work, but I'm procrastinating over the fun thing that was going to make procrastinating ok. Give me a break ... geez!<br />
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Help!!!!!!! Are there any Procrastination Exorcists out there? I am convinced she has taken over my soul and I need to bring in the big guns to free myself.<br />
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Ok - I must start work now ... but first I need a coffee and I should check Twitter and then I should come back and check this blog for comments and then back to Twitter, oh and let's not forget a quick look on Facebook ..............Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-4931323687370838952010-04-06T08:10:00.001+10:002010-04-06T08:17:09.631+10:00Procrastination ... Today I am going to make her my Friend<em>Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill. Christopher Parker</em> <br />
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I don't understand why Procrastination keeps coming around to my place. I don't like her and I don't want to continue this friendship. I've told her over and over that she is not to be a part of my life but she just isn't listening to me!!<br />
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If only it was that easy to get rid of her. <br />
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I have been battling this problem of procrastination for a good part of my adult life. When she arrives, I invite her in and entertain her for as long as she wants. Sometimes she stays here all day long! At the end of the day I feel so dirty that I spent so much time with someone I dislike so much. <br />
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I have tried to deal with this problem on and off for many years, but it always gets the better of me. The past few months have been particularly bad and I am almost making procrastination my full time job. If only there was a position available for a full time Procrastinator.<br />
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They say if you keep doing the same things over and over you are going to keep getting the same results. That is so very true. I've been trying to deal with my procrastination by believing it is a bad habit that I must cure myself of. Perhaps I need to reverse this thinking to get a different outcome?<br />
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From today, I am going to turn it around and use it positively. My schedule will now have an hour set aside at the start of each day for "Procrastination". In this hour I can do whatever I like without feeling guilty. Today I choose to write this blog. Writing is what I enjoy most, so if I get to start my day with a treat, perhaps I won't feel like I don't get any time for things I like to do. I truly think this is one of the main causes of my procrastination. <br />
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Maybe it will work - maybe it won't. But, whatever the outcome - I will get to write, which ultimately makes me feel good and hopefully my words will make others feel good. Perhaps putting a positive twist on something that has always been so negative will make all the difference?<br />
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Do you procrastinate? How do you deal with it?<br />
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</script>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-90983716208845246392010-04-05T08:47:00.004+10:002010-04-05T13:01:53.530+10:00Facebook GuiltTwo nights ago were were having a wonderful afternoon/night drinks/dinner with fabulous friends. For this blog I am going to call my friends Lovely 1 and Lovely 2 (to protect their privacy). Lovely 1 is a young mum who works full time and has twin 4 year old boys and she started telling us how overwhelmed she feels by Facebook.<br />
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She said that every few months she has to shut down her Facebook account because the obligations it puts on her is overwhelming. I have to admit that I didn't really understand. Neither did Lovely 2. Lovely 1 told us she feels guilty that she is a bad friend if she doesn't reply to everyone that makes a comment on her Facebook feed and also if she doesn't visit her friends Facebook pages and comment on their photos/status updates etc. I have to admit that Lovely 2 and I looked at each other a bit confused because we don't feel this same pressure. <br />
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Am I a bad Facebook friend because I don't feel this obligation? I don't see social networking as a "face to face" conversation. If I am there at the time and I feel like responding/commenting I will, but if I don't I won't. If I haven't been on Facebook for a few days I don't feel the need to go back through everything and make reciprocal comments - I might read through if I have time, but essentially I pick up and start again from when I go back on.<br />
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Am I rude? Am I a bad friend? Should I feel the same guilt as Lovely 1?<br />
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Facebook makes me feel connected to people I care about but don't physically have the time to call/email regularly. To me that's the reality of our busy lives - without Facebook I wouldn't have the connection I currently do to some of the beautiful people that have been part of my life. Facebook keeps me connected to all my old friends from all parts of my very friendship rich life without the pressure of having to call/write to each indiviual person. Have I missed the point of Facebook?<br />
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How does Facebook make you feel? Guilty or Connected?Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-63245900720965767462010-04-03T12:25:00.001+10:002010-04-05T13:02:20.021+10:00The essence of time.I have been struggling with time for ages now. Never having enough of it. Wishing there were more than 24 hours in a day, Wishing it was 20 years ago when time seemed endless. <br />
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I was speaking to a very close and wise woman the other day and we were both lamenting over this lack of time. What we realised was that time is still the same. Always has been and always will be 24 hours in every single day. Well ... who would have thought? <br />
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I often think back to when I was young and it seemed my parents had endless time to sit at night and do nothing but watch television, knit, embroider and do crosswords. They were in bed by 10 pm and rarely did I hear them complain about having no time.<br />
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Time hasn't changed - there are still 24 hours and they still take the same amount of time to tick over. So what has really changed?<br />
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<ul><li>Women now work more than they did back then and we suffer "mother guilt" so we feel we have to do absolutely everything they did, plus a full time job!</li>
<li>Shops are always open - so instead of sitting down and relaxing on a Sunday afternoon, we are rushing off to do the shopping so our kids have lunches on Monday!</li>
<li>Computers are always open - the internet never closes - so we do our banking, pay our bills, email our friends, do our budgets, surf the web and Facebook and Twitter every night.</li>
<li>Our kids seem to do more - ballet, singing, footy, soccer, tutors, drama, cricket, gymnastics - the list goes on. When I grew up it was one sport and you found your own way to training and the games.</li>
</ul>They are a few of the things that have eaten up my time over the years since I became a mum. I imagine there are loads more reasons, but I don't want to bore you!<br />
I often wonder when I'm going to get all that "spare" time my parents seemed to have. I keep saying it will happen one day - when the kids get older - well they are late teens now and I can honestly say I have even less time than when they were little!<br />
Well, back to this close and wise friend I mentioned earlier - I say she is wise, because she said to me ... "Annie, this is how life is now - it won't go back to how it used to be. The only way we can have time to ourselves now is to schedule it in."<br />
Wow, that statement really impacted me. This is something we all have to do. Every single day we need to schedule in some "ME" time. Down time where nothing else matters but chilling out and taking a break. That is why so many of us feel so tired, stressed and overwhelmed. We are waiting for the "down" time to just happen. It isn't going to! We have to make it happen ourselves. <br />
What are you going to do for your down time? And ... are you going to take some today?Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986801825694996895.post-81796058984434545992008-12-26T22:39:00.001+10:002010-04-05T13:02:46.289+10:00Here we go again!<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Every year I say I'll start blogging regularly - every year I start ... but the regularly seems to drop off!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Well here I am at the end of 2008 and keen as ever to blog. I'm not making any grand statements about blogging everyday or every week. This year I'm not going to put any pressure on ... let's see what happens!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Christmas is now over and the house is still littered with scraps of Christmas paper, instruction books for all the new stuff are all over the coffee table and the tree looks deserted without the mountain of presents underneath it.</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_09RJXgqkM1uKWtQZDxTsFHhViMVM-Vxfjf0fgfJ1xbaLrxOOY_Zuq-osUBKtIJni3LmmkArm-5wRkChkmFBxMqMuteZ_9rcq5LGfpyvGtlthyphenhyphenv9MqcSoWZLKZFUbey4wh3cswJDn4CKi/s1600-h/P1000023.JPG"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5284079130322418482" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_09RJXgqkM1uKWtQZDxTsFHhViMVM-Vxfjf0fgfJ1xbaLrxOOY_Zuq-osUBKtIJni3LmmkArm-5wRkChkmFBxMqMuteZ_9rcq5LGfpyvGtlthyphenhyphenv9MqcSoWZLKZFUbey4wh3cswJDn4CKi/s200/P1000023.JPG" style="cursor: hand; float: left; height: 150px; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px;" /></span></a><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">It was a really great Christmas - one of the best - spent with people I love. We ate too much, laughed a lot and enjoyed the time together. I think that is the essence of Christmas.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Life can be really simple ... you only need a few ingredients: </span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">People to love; good health and good food, oh and a comfy bed of course!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I hope everyone who reads this blog has all of the above ingredients and spent a lovely day with someone you love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Merry Christmas ! Feliz Navidad ! Bon Natali !</span>Annieb25http://www.blogger.com/profile/09574721273010056362noreply@blogger.com0