The longer I am a parent and the more I watch what is happening to our world in terms of violence, crime and desperation, the more I believe, as parents, we have lost the art of relying on our own instincts when it comes to bringing up our children.
By this I mean, remembering how we were brought up, relying on our own values and having an understanding of what it is we really want for our children - not what the world "expects" us to want for our children. I'm not saying that a change in parenting can fix all the problems in the world, and I also know there are many socio-economic factors that come into play that can't be fixed easily. However as a fairly mainstream parent, I feel that we have lost the ability to be ordinary, which is resulting in our children growing up with over inflated expectations of what the world should be offering them.
I believe most kids are too pampered and are not being taught to tough things out and I put my hand up as being totally guilty of doing this. I am a divorced parent and have two teenage boys. I have see-sawed between disciplining and pampering my children for the last 10 years. Why do I do this? Because I feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty? Because I receive so much information about being a perfect parent and when I fail I feel guilty and pamper my children in an attempt to alleviate this guilt. I also do it because my children aren’t with both parents all the time. I do it because I work long hours and can’t spend as much time with them as I think I should. I suffer from “mother guilt” which I believe should be extended to be called “parent guilt” because I'm sure many dad's feel the same.
By this I mean, remembering how we were brought up, relying on our own values and having an understanding of what it is we really want for our children - not what the world "expects" us to want for our children. I'm not saying that a change in parenting can fix all the problems in the world, and I also know there are many socio-economic factors that come into play that can't be fixed easily. However as a fairly mainstream parent, I feel that we have lost the ability to be ordinary, which is resulting in our children growing up with over inflated expectations of what the world should be offering them.
I believe most kids are too pampered and are not being taught to tough things out and I put my hand up as being totally guilty of doing this. I am a divorced parent and have two teenage boys. I have see-sawed between disciplining and pampering my children for the last 10 years. Why do I do this? Because I feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty? Because I receive so much information about being a perfect parent and when I fail I feel guilty and pamper my children in an attempt to alleviate this guilt. I also do it because my children aren’t with both parents all the time. I do it because I work long hours and can’t spend as much time with them as I think I should. I suffer from “mother guilt” which I believe should be extended to be called “parent guilt” because I'm sure many dad's feel the same.
