I had so many clever ideas about what I might blog about today, but my mind body and soul are totally occupied with food.   I am detoxing - day 4 - and I could just about eat anything that isn't of fruit or vegetable origin. 

@mumto2angels tweeted about Tim Tams this morning and now I am obsessed.  I am not just talking about a fleeting thought, I'm talking full blown fantasies involving Tim Tams.  The Tim Tam genie features strongly - he is standing behind me lovingly dropping a Tim Tam into my mouth whenever it is empty.  Beautiful, cold dark chocolate Tim Tams ... oh I'm sorry you're still here.  Damn, for a minute I thought that was real!

I am hungry every half an hour.  I am drinking green tea until I slosh and I am eating vegetables and fruit until I sprout.   My mind cannot focus on anything but eating.  It is amazing how much of what we do is based around eating and enjoying food and drink.    Whilst my intake of fruit and vegetables is unlimited, that's not what I crave.   I want Tim Tams, I want dark chocolate, I want bread, I want milk!!!!!!!!

I want to eat something that has a stodgy substance to it.  I have just made some Chickpea Flour Bread called Socca.  I put some olives and rosemary in it.   Did anyone hear what I just said?  CHICKPEA BREAD!!   WTF!   I won't go into a rant because I haven't tasted it yet, and who knows, maybe, just maybe, it could taste a little like a dark chocolate Tim Tam.  No?  Kidding myself?   Thought so.

I know I will ultimately feel better and hopefully get out of some very bad food habits by the time this is over, but geez it's hard.  If anyone has an idea on things I can do to stop me thinking about food I'd be much appreciative.   Also, please refrain from mentioning any yummy foods in your blogs or in any dealings with me.  I only have 10 days to go.

Must go check on the Genie and my dark chocolate Tim Tams, oh no that's right it's Chickpea Bread I'm cooking.    Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... that's the sound of me fading away to a block of flats!

 

It’s time to get serious with my health and lifestyle. I need to make some changes and I need to do it right now. Why do I need to make some serious health and lifestyle changes? I’m a 47 year old mother of 2 teenage boys, very small boned, carrying almost 15 kilos of excess weight around my torso, have an underactive thyroid and a family history of Lupus and other autoimmune diseases. I have not regularly exercised since my teens, although over the years I’ve joined about 10 different gyms, gone crazy for about 3 weeks then stopped. I watch people who exercise in group sessions at local parks and wish I could do that too, but then I go home and eat some chocolate!

Did I mention that I’m also a serious chocoholic and can’t go a day without chocolate? I’d like to think I’m a reasonably healthy eater because I’m careful not to eat processed foods, I don’t drink very often, I mainly eat dark chocolate and I stay away from preservatives, artificial colours and flavours. However, I eat large portions, I eat chocolate often, I eat when I’m bored, I eat chocolate often, I don’t eat enough vegetables and did I mention that I eat chocolate often? I think you’ve got the picture now. Basically I kid myself I’m quite healthy because I do some of the right things, but really I’m a long way behind where I should be.

I have seen some recent photos that have really made me feel disgusted with myself. My belief on weight loss is this – not everyone is thin and not everyone looks good thin. In fact most people look better with some weight, including me. I have always been very tiny, so seeing myself looking weighty is quite a shock to me. Others would say I already look small. As they say, beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. To me I look awful.   I certainly wouldn't "do" me!   People may say I'm being harde on myself but read on ... it's not only about looks.