It’s time to get serious with my health and lifestyle. I need to make some changes and I need to do it right now. Why do I need to make some serious health and lifestyle changes? I’m a 47 year old mother of 2 teenage boys, very small boned, carrying almost 15 kilos of excess weight around my torso, have an underactive thyroid and a family history of Lupus and other autoimmune diseases. I have not regularly exercised since my teens, although over the years I’ve joined about 10 different gyms, gone crazy for about 3 weeks then stopped. I watch people who exercise in group sessions at local parks and wish I could do that too, but then I go home and eat some chocolate!

Did I mention that I’m also a serious chocoholic and can’t go a day without chocolate? I’d like to think I’m a reasonably healthy eater because I’m careful not to eat processed foods, I don’t drink very often, I mainly eat dark chocolate and I stay away from preservatives, artificial colours and flavours. However, I eat large portions, I eat chocolate often, I eat when I’m bored, I eat chocolate often, I don’t eat enough vegetables and did I mention that I eat chocolate often? I think you’ve got the picture now. Basically I kid myself I’m quite healthy because I do some of the right things, but really I’m a long way behind where I should be.

I have seen some recent photos that have really made me feel disgusted with myself. My belief on weight loss is this – not everyone is thin and not everyone looks good thin. In fact most people look better with some weight, including me. I have always been very tiny, so seeing myself looking weighty is quite a shock to me. Others would say I already look small. As they say, beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. To me I look awful.   I certainly wouldn't "do" me!   People may say I'm being harde on myself but read on ... it's not only about looks.

The other factor that is extremely important to me is how I feel health wise. If I was fit, healthy and ate well and was the current size I am I would be a happy girl because that is how I am meant to be. But because I am unfit, unwell and feeling older than my 47 years - I am very uncomfortable with this look.

I admit, most of us like to look gorgeous and sexy and be appealing to both sexes – yes I said both sexes – because let’s face it girls, we love other girls to think we look great too! However I don’t believe that we have to look like Jennifer Aniston or whoever you fancy to feel sexy and gorgeous. We all have curves, lumpy bits and if we’ve had kids – well our best assets have probably dropped a few points! This doesn’t mean we can no longer look gorgeous and sexy – we can, no matter what our size. The key is how we feel on the inside because it really does radiate out.

Even when I’m at a healthier weight, I still have a tummy – I always have and I always will. I’m ok with that because I’m not prepared to do the exercise to get rid of it. At the moment I am not ok with it – I bent over yesterday to pick something up and my stomach got in my way. I was so embarrassed and upset with myself. Not only does it look bad, it restricts my movements and it is the worst weight I can carry in terms of heart disease.

I’m also not very good at pain, hence the lack of serious exercise, and I’m a bit of a procrastinator, okay a lot of a procrastinator (I try to kid myself here too!). But I can’t do that anymore – the proof of this is documented here in previous blogs!! If I’m not made accountable, I will almost always quit if it becomes too time consuming, well that’s the excuse I use. I think most of us have used that one. “I’d love to exercise but I just don’t have enough time” we say with what we believe is absolute sincerity.

This brings me to where I am today. I’ve been fluffing around with some diets, healthy eating options etc for about 2 months now. Pretending I’m serious, when in fact it is a smokescreen to appear that I’m doing something. All I have been doing is putting off the inevitable. There are 3 things, that is it, only 3 things I need to do:

1. Eat less

2. Eat healthier options

3. Exercise

I need to do this now because I don’t want to reach 50 and have serious health problems that I could have avoided. The ridiculous thing is I know all this stuff and I know what I need to do but I am so bad at starting these things. I am excellent at making excuses and really excellent at eating chocolate.

Now that I’ve started blogging and putting myself “out there” I figured if I put this “out there” it will give me some momentum and make me a bit more accountable.

I am not going on a fad diet as such, but I am following a program where I gently detox for 2 weeks cutting out Dairy, starchy carbs (bread, white pasta, cakes etc), coffee and ... it’s so hard for me to write this ... CHOCOLATE! During this period I am also training my body to accept smaller portions. I also have to start doing at least 30 minutes of gentle exercise per day.

Great – as I am typing this I am thinking how am I going to do this? I just gave myself an uppercut because I need to start with the right attitude. I can do this. Many people I know are battling terminal cancer and living with debilitating diseases and I’m whinging about doing this. Get over yourself Annie!!!!!!

The universe has been extremely kind to me and it’s time I repaid it by looking after myself. I can do this and I am going to use my blog to keep me accountable. Does blogging help you stay accountable?

PS If you are a Weight Loss Company Tweep, please don’t follow me because I don’t want to buy your quick fix pill, protein supplement, exercise contraption or cellulite wraps. Thank you.

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11 Responses
  1. Bundynelle Says:

    Well said Annie. Take your 'disgust' and multiple it by 100 and that's how I feel about me. After a year of emotional turmoil, I 'awoken' after Christmas 2009 to see 130.7kg on my scales and no, the batteries weren't playing up either :0(

    My young family were literally watching me kill myself before their eyes and I could no longer do that to them. I could not 'do' gastric band surgery as I had a botched c/section in 2007 and I'm now scared too death to go near surgeons! I couldn't push myself through another WW door, I loathe them WW Meetings, so I joined their 'online' service and I am now 119kg & I feel better for it too. I could have done alot better but I'm a turtle and I'm taking my time ;0) And I'm doin' may darnest to give up the wine, thats my pitfall well and truly.

    Best of luck to you in your weight loss 'journey'. I loathe the word 'diet' simply because 'diets' don't work in the long run. Take baby steps and if you stuff up ... tomorrow is another day. GOOD LUCK :0)

    Bundynelle of Brisbane! :0)

  2. Annieb25 Says:

    Wow Bundynelle. Thank you for sharing. What a great achievement already for you. Keep going - it's a journey that lasts forever I believe. I'll be there too. xx

  3. Michelle Says:

    Go Annie! You can do it!!!
    I'm all for eating choc every day - 1 little piece of dark sugar free fairtrade.
    If you want to eat a large meal cause you're hungry - fill your plate with your favourite lettuce.
    Exercise... go for a walk and in some stairs!
    Thank you for listening to Michelle's healthy tips!! hehe
    Go Annie Go Annie - I'll be your cheer squad

  4. Kallie Says:

    I'm really thinking you're me in another state Annie... No family history of Lupus although it keeps getting suggested about me. I put on 20 kg when I gave up work, smoking, getting pregnant etc. On top of that my thyroid (which had been overactive) decided to go on a 'go slow' and is now sluggish. All adds up to lots too much weight around my middle. As to finding the time to exercise, that just doesn't happen with young children and a partner who doesn't participate and is now gone.

    I had hopes of walking every school morning once my son started at school but that hasn't happened either & the Gov't is pushing me into working more hours as they will take the pension off me so it's not going to happen :(

    I hope that before I turn 50 I'll have been able to lose some of this weight hanging around me. Meanwhile I watch your blog and cheer you on in your efforts :)

  5. Julie-Ann Says:

    If I didn't have my broken foot you would have inspired me to hop on the treadmill:) Don't give yourself to hard a time. Weight gain seems to be natural with age for most of us.

  6. Anonymous Says:

    Good on you! I lost 17 kilos a couple of years ago and have 5kg that comes on and I have to battle to take off with ongoing regularity.Blogging has helped me stay accountable for sure but one thing I do that really helps is that I enrol in events that make me get fit and blog about them. I have a 14km fun run coming up shortly which I am not ready for yet but I will be. I'm aiming for a half marathon later this year. Like you I don't want to die young from things that are preventable. With a family history of severe heart disease, getting fit and staying healthy are two things I'm passionate about. Good luck and I'm cheering you on this journey.

  7. Annieb25 Says:

    Thank you all so much for your encouraging words. Day one is almost done and whilst I feel a bit headachey (chocolate withdrawals I'm sure) it has been ok. I even took the dog for a 1/2 walk this afternoon. Thanks again, your words mean so very much. x

  8. Bundynelle Says:

    Thanks for the comments Annie :0)

    I fully agree with 'Seraphim' about blogging. Before 2010 I had no idea what a blog was! Thanks to the WW Forums, I noticed alot of members had their blogspot addresses in their signatures. So I jumped on their band wagon too ;0) I'm still a blog 'virgin', LOL, but its amazing the feedback you get from people, whether its blog readers or family, family you thought didn't know how to switch on a computer let alone read someone's blog!

    All I can say is take one day at a time, create your own food diary, use your head before using your fork/spoon and use the forums and discussion boards to your favour!

    And have fun :0)

  9. Bundynelle Says:

    p.s. I forgot about your chocolate addiction. Since January I have learnt alot about moderation with food. I plan ahead so I can allow myself to have a Freddo Frog or a WW Choc Ice Cream Sundae every so often during the week. Going 'cold turkey' will drive you nuts! Maybe pull back on your chocolates, and every week keep reducing your intake? Just ideas.

  10. Go Annie! I'm in the baby steps, one day at a time camp. Walk, walk and walk some more. Build it in to your day when you can - I walk my boys to school and back a few days a week, which adds up to 6km a day for me. It helps keep me fit. As for the chocolate thing, I am soooo with you. I do a small amount of dark choc instead of vast amounts of milk and it seems to help. Keep us posted on how you're doing!

  11. Good for you! I am so happy for you. I am all for people bettering themselves in any way and am feeling so positive for you. Yes I have a love/hate relationship with food and have learnt that it affects me in sooooo many ways. I laughed about the belly in the way! LOL. I am glad you said you have more energy and are feeling more motivated :) Go girlfriend!!